The tree has been up and decorated for a few weeks, any interior decorations are up and easily lit with the new remote, as well as the ones on the exterior. The bit of shopping I needed to do is complete, and everything is wrapped, ready to go under the tree. Since there is a new puppy in the house and no one wants to take a chance of mass destruction, presents are sitting on the dining-room table waiting for tomorrow night after the beasties have been corraled for the night.
I’m restless … thinking about Christmases past. This time of year, I really miss my parents. This particular holiday was the one for my Momma. I miss the happiness, the smells, the laughter, I even miss the little arguments going on around us when all of us were together. One of my most treasured memories of Christmas with my parents is watching my dad outside in his red long-johns, levi’s, his cowboy boots and big hat organizing and directing the placement of Momma’s beloved outdoor decorations. What a sight that was to see! I miss the food, OMG! My Momma could cook and always began even before Thanksgiving making her candies and cookies. I’d gladly sacrifice one of my toes for a piece of her homemade German Chocolate cake right about now! No matter how many times I followed her recipe to the letter, I could never duplicate the perfection.
It’s also about this time of the year that my depressions seems to try to kick things up a notch or two. The past 2 years have been crazy, unsettled and, unstable. Not just for us but for most everyone else in the world as well. Yes, things are beginning to look up for those we hold close. And I hope with everything I am this upward direction continues throughout the next year. By this time next year, my biggest wish is for Jimmy & me to have a place of our own and for our world to begin to settle … just a little bit.
I haven’t given up, I can’t, it’s not in me to give in … yes, on this Christmas Eve Eve, I still have hope.